My Super Duper Cocktail Party
by Neko-Kikiru
Summary: This is my first time at this. Naruto is tired of the missions all the time and plans to stir up some fun. Chaos, hell yeah!
1. Before The Party, Enter TOM!

A tired 20-year old Naruto plopped down on his couch at home. He had just finished an important mission in a foreign country and it wasn't easy. It was day in, day out with all these missions with nothing to do between them. Where was the excitement any more?

"That's it!" exclaimed Naruto. He picked himself off the couch and started dialing numbers on his phone. "Time for a little fun!"

_Later_

"ring" "Oh, they're here, they're here, they're here!" Naruto jumped up and down like a monkey. He opened the door to reveal...

Tom, the salesman! (Oooh, ahh!) Tom smiled at Naruto like Gai does and his teeth went "ping". Naruto stared at him with eyes like this 0.0 mostly because he was just blinded by the light.

"Hello, my good man, are you interested in a new hair growth product for baldies with shiny egg-heads such as yourself?" yelled Tom in Naruto's face.

"I'm not BALD!" screamed Naruto.

Naruto was angry at such insult, he slammed the door right in Tom's face. The doorbell rung again and outside was Tom. When Naruto opened the door, Tom started his reciting exactly like the first time. "Hello, my good m—" Naruto slammed the door again.

The doorbell rang again, Naruto didn't answer.

**"ring"**

No answer

"RING!"

No answer

The doorbell starts ringing to the melody of "Mary Had A Little Lamb"

**"ring, ring, ring, ring, ring ,ring RING!"**

That was IT, man! Naruto yanks his door open and he Rasengan-ed Tom's sorry tush somewhere miles away so he can bother someone else.

The doorbell rung again and this time when Naruto answered it was a group of fellow shinobi.

He was about to say hello only to have Sakura catapult into his house and punched him to the wall. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU SCREAM IN MY EAR ON THAT DAMN PHONE!" screamed Sakura.

_flashback_

"ring" When Sakura picked up the phone all she heard was "YOU ARE INVITED TO NARUTO'S PARTY AT 6PM TONIGHT! BE THERE!" click

-SILENCE-

"NARUTO!"


	2. Let the Fun Begin! Bwaha!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. No matter how hard I wish, it won't happen. NOOO!**

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The crowd outside stared as Naruto picked himself up from the ground. One by one, they entered by the order, Shino, Hinata, Ino, Choji, Shikamaru, Lee, Kiba, Akamaru (if you read the manga, Akamaru is HUGE now, larger than Kiba!), Neji and Ten-ten.

"A PARTY!" yelled Lee, doing his good guy pose and his teeth went "PING!" times 3. "THE ABSOLUTE PINNACLE AND CLIMAX OF BELOVED YOUTH! **YOUTH!**" He screamed at the top of his lungs. He leaped out of the house ballerina style. And then Lee was bouncing up and down like a jackhammer, running across the block screaming "YOUTH, YOUTH, YOUTH, YOUTH, YOUTH,** YOUTH!" **seriously disturbing the neighbors. The others watched him disappear.

Naruto walked over to Kiba and whispered to him "I better not find that oversized canine of yours pissing on my carpet. He'll have to use the toilet like _every-_one else!"

"Yeah, yeah," Kiba dismissed Naruto. "C'mon now, let's break out that champagne!" (A/N: See? That's why I made them 20 years old.)

There was a good round of wine going around. Nice little sparkly glasses being raised, ah, good times, good times. Everyone was chattering when Naruto burst in yelling "Who's up for some VODKA!"

Soon, everyone's glasses were filled with sweet, sweet alcohol and they were tipping that stuff down their throat.

Shino got it first, poor guy couldn't take it. He rushed himself to the bathroom and proceeded to hurl his guts out. (Eew, man.) Naruto knocked on the door "Hey, Shino, you okay, man?"

The response "Hup, Blegggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh! (cough) Bluuuuuuuuuuuurgh! M-make it stop…BLURGGGGGGGG!"

Naruto's face twisted with concern. "You okay? I'm coming in." He opened the door to see Shino throw up again.

"Sweet mother-, my FLOOR!" That got Naruto started and he hurled up on the floor right outside the bathroom. Kiba was just passing by and he got a little bit of barf on him.

"Yuck, disgusting!" He walked on the nice trail of barf Naruto left behind and slipped.

"Whoa! YAAAH!" He slid on his stomach across the hall and smashed his face into a wall, knocking him out.

-To the others-

Everyone was still holding pretty well. A little wobbly, but good. Choji fell asleep and his face landed in a plate of rice with sauce, spaghetti with sauce and anything else with sauce. Having the time of his life, face in food, even in sleep.

Shikamaru was having a great time. He rubbed his hands together in an evil villain way and said insanely (in an evil way, I might add) "Muahaha, the timer on the clock is set, when the handle reaches 9PM, the bomb will set off and this house will be whip creamed from the inside out! Muahahahahahahahahahahaha- (cough, takes breathes) AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Ten-ten entered the room at that moment. She was not very happy, she was pretty damn far from happy. "SHIKAMARU! Shut up there!" She took out a bunch of senbon needles and hurled at Shikamaru. Having the perfect aim that she does, the needles pinned Shikamaru by his jacket to the wall. He struggled his legs to get free but failed. He hissed like a snake "_Hisss, _you cannot stop me! Muahahahahahahaha!" He held his hands to the sky.

Hinata was pretty drunk too, her pupils swayed from side to side. She walked in and saw Ten-ten pinned Shikamaru to the wall. Then she did something she did before, she yelled full force "Hey, don't hurt him!" (Not because Hinata likes Shikamaru okay?) She snuck up behind Ten-ten and knocked her out on the head with a loaf of bread.

She took out a Sharpie and scribbled symbols all over Ten-ten's face. Many were squiggly lines with x-marks. She then released Shikamaru. He just turned his back to his purple-haired savior. He hunched his shoulders and whispered darkly "Mmmm Hmmm… Yes, muahaha. My plan WILL commence!" he cackled.

Hinata got so freaked out by Shikamaru's sudden evilness; she knocked him out with the loaf of bread also.

-Somewhere else in the house-

Neji was lying on the couch in the living room with his hands folded on his chest. His eyes were opened as wise as they possibly could and he whispered, "They're coming, they're coming…." He shot up and screamed "THE END OF THE WORLD IS COMING!" and he waved his arms around his head frantically. Neji then set off to hide behind the sofa.

Ino was singing karoke in the living room standing on top of the coffee table in the living room.

"_La la la, Nee kikoe masu ka? (from Harmonia)"_

Ino's beat was totally off and she was singing the wrong lyrics for the wrong song. She was hungry and drunk so she started to chew on the end of her microphone. Her eyelids drooped and she fell face flat from the table to the floor.

Sakura, in the kitchen, had somehow gotten hold of a machete (giant blade thingy) and she was slashing everything in sight. She glared at the wall and said "What are _you _staring at, bub?" She hiccupped a little bit and then proceeded to cut many deep slits in the wall.

She was stomping through the house and she just so happened to come across Neji. He was holding a fetal position, knees to chest and rocking back and forth on his backside. Sakura held her machete up and swung it down. Neji dodged at the last moment, the blade narrowly missing the side of his head. He put his hand on the place of his skull that would have been slashed off and said, "Hey, I still need that!"

Neji threw a large lump of cheese across the room to have Sakura chase after it like a dog. When she finally caught it, she then started to cut and dice it into a thousand pieces. Neji moved the sofa back and sat down again.

Suddenly (_dum, dum, DUM!)_ Rock Lee burst in through the door, having just returned from having pumpkins thrown at him for the annoying the neighbors by shouting "YOUTH! THE POWER OF YOUTH!"

Lee entered the house and saw utter chaos. There were spills everywhere, things torn and broken apart. A corner of the house was on fire. "What happened?" he asked, carefully trotting across the living room. He saw a glass and a clear that had a clear liquid inside (We all know what that is). Lee _was _thirsty after trying to spread "The love of youth!" across the neighborhood. Water would be nice. He took a tiny sip and he started to teeter a little.

Pink circles appeared on his cheeks and he roared like an absolutely ferocious rabbit. Lee was about to elbow smash the table in two. "HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed.

Just as his elbow was about to end the life of that poor table, Shikamaru's evil whip cream bomb went off as the whole house inflated with the fluffy goodness and swept everyone off their feet. The neighbor's wondered why white fluff was pouring out the windows.

The shock woke Naruto up and all he saw was foam and the destruction of his beautiful house.

His eyes were like this 0.0.

"Fuck!"

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Well, dear readers, that is the finale. Okay, so they weren't as drunk as I wanted them to be, but that's the story. I know, it was probably as good as cow shit. Please review, tell me how it was. If it sucked, I don't think you'll hesitate. If it was good, please tell me so I can try to make more. Bye, bye, I'm out! 


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